打开心世界

I imagined continuing to write in this ledger, as if this were life, as though life were not elsewhere.

夏天即将结束的时候，阿比盖尔这样写道。

此言一出，当时心里一阵凉，好在这并不是电影的最终句点。在自然环境和时代观念双重局限下，有情人并无太多出路，但能够用一整本账簿（多用于记载农场作物营收）记下一段感情，无论结局如何，都有弥足珍贵的价值。从这个意义讲，阿比盖尔的日记与《女孩肖像》的女子堕胎画具有相似的记录价值，男权历史叙事中被遗失的独立女性形象跃然纸上，是记录，也是反抗和颠覆。

女版《断背山》之谈自去年威尼斯以来已经见诸中外影评版块了，这类评论会引起不满吗？起码发行商（到目前为止）头脑很清楚。但由断背山之谈可以想到的，或许是“同夫”形象在主流艺术电影界终于崭露头角。

过去观看《远离天堂》、《谁先爱上他的》，甚至《霸王别姬》，都对同妻形象难以忘怀，但同夫未曾多见，此番《打开心世界》可以说也打开了新视野，而同妻和同夫的不同作用、影响、意义也是个太值得深入的话题了。从本片的正反面同夫教材，到男同志片中多数极其正面的同妻形象，从本片精准刻画的男性脆弱到男同志片中较多见的同妻自主，某种程度上，似乎又可以上升到男女之别。就本片而言，两位男性角色提供了19世纪中叶“同夫面对妻子情感转变”的两个代表性形象，有作为男性的共通之处，也有作为个体的较大差异，为同夫银幕史注入了一定思路。此外，男性本身在恶劣生存环境中的脆弱性、需老婆照顾等桥段（感冒被照顾、暴风雪被帮忙“营救”）就令人眼前一亮，如果是男性写的日记难说有这种情节。

1856年左右发生的事情，欧迪亚《希斯特斯兄弟》讲述两兄弟在西部淘金差点被自然吞噬，互帮互助才保住性命；在发生于东部边疆的本片中，塔莉之死实际上也可归因于恶劣生存环境、落后医疗水平，但另外一重要因素是丈夫的重视程度。电影并未直接给出说明，但通过阿比盖尔与塔莉的交谈基本可以得知塔莉夫妇的感情濒于破碎边缘。试想一下，如果换作阿比盖尔照顾塔莉，会不会不同结局？不得而知，但塔莉就算活着，和性格暴戾的芬尼相处的日子肯定不会好过。在异性恋层面，阿比盖尔有退路（戴尔人还算可以吧……），塔莉无退路，也是造成这个故事让人止不住叹息的原因。

起初以为阿比盖尔是内向，后来想想则没那么简单。

一、内向？迟钝？“女创世者”

刚看完电影时隐约感觉到阿比盖尔的内向，但经过几天的沉淀后总觉得不完全是内向，直到看到原著小说中的“slow-hearted”才有些回过神来。

草丛依偎时，塔莉形容阿比盖尔像是栖息在农家庭院的麻雀，从未离开，但也从未（敢）接近。虽然阿比盖尔随后的回答向塔莉敞开了爱的怀抱，但依然改变不了这段感情前期颇为“单向”的事实：从来都是塔莉主动拜访她。

阿比盖尔最勇敢的尝试就是在天气恶劣的晚上，悄悄拿着望远镜偷看塔莉，不论有多么想念、担忧，她真的就像是麻雀一样安居一隅，等待塔莉拜访，只有当时间隔得太长、感觉不对时，才“走出第一步”，但从结果来看有些为时已晚了。

但阿比盖尔是内向吗？也不尽然。她在与塔莉的亲密关系中从羞怯到主动，从初见的含蓄到后来的专属微笑，从“被邀请才去”到最终的主动前往，无不体现着阿比盖尔的主观能动性。

回到电影中没有出现的“slow-hearted”，这个词在小说中出现在最后一段，也即电影最后阶段阿比盖尔的“I image”时刻，小说中这样写道：

“slow-hearted”不是一个正式单词，各大词典并无收录，查阅词源可知它来自圣经《路加福音》第二十四章、第二十五句（Luke 24: 25），版本诸多：

A! foolis, and ſlowe of herte for to bileue in alle þingis whiche þe prophetis han ſpoke. ——"Luke" in the Wycliffe version (first printing, c. 1384)

And he sayde vnto the: O foles and slowe of herte to beleve all yt the prophetes have spoken. ——"Luke" in the Tyndale version (1526)

Then he said to them: O foolish, and slow of heart to believe in all things which the prophets have spoken. ——"Luke" in the Douay–Rheims version (Challoner's revision, 1749–1952)

And he said unto them, O foolish men, and slow of heart to believe in all that the prophets have spoken! ——"Luke" in the American Standard version (1901)

And He said to them, "O inconsiderate and slow in heart to believe on all that the prophets spoke! ——"Luke" in the Literal Standard Version (2020)

路加福音和其他福音讲述的都是耶稣生平，学界认为路加福音的内容更详实。“slow-hearted”出现的第二十四章讲的是耶稣复活后，两个信徒在前往以马忤斯（耶稣死亡、复活之处，信徒听说耶稣在那儿死而复生便去寻找）的路上巧遇刚复活出来的耶稣，但这两个信徒没认出他来，于是耶稣对他们说：“无知的人哪．先知所说的一切话、你们的心、信得太迟钝了。”听着耶稣的讲解，后来这两位信徒心领神会，才认出他来，随后耶稣圆满升天。

“slow-hearted”（迟钝）的典故就出自于此，一定程度可以看作阿比盖尔遇上塔莉的对照。但电影最后的“I image”部分拿掉了这句“迟钝”自叹，转而是以最后一个画面对应了“迟钝”之说的宗教神学典故，用文艺复兴画家米开朗基罗《创造亚当》式构图（简中世界首先指出这一象征的应是@Pincent），想象了即将到来的新世界，塔莉是创世者，阿比盖尔则是被创造的人，这一创作手法赋予了电影较强的神性意味，也暗示了塔莉“死而复生”、阿比盖尔延续其神性意志的愿景。故事的开始，阿比盖尔因女儿的去世而不再去教堂做礼拜、不再信奉宗教概念上的“即将到来的更好世界”（the notion of a better world to come），但塔莉的出现让她重新看到了这样“更好世界终将到来”的可能。这一神性表达，在阿比盖尔对她俩（在树林中）“无数快活之后会不会播撒新生事物”的描述中似也有所指。

加入了这一层神学创世论后，可以想象阿比盖尔并不是“内向”那么简单，通篇的画外音（日记）作为其心理活动的内在展示，可以看到当爱到来的时候，她并不能立即厘清这一从未发生过的情绪涌动（化学反应），只有体会过后才能正视自己未被发掘的欲望。在塔莉到来之前，农场的劳动、对夭折女儿的思念和平淡的夫妻关系或许是阿比盖尔的终生归宿，但塔莉的出现拓宽了阿比盖尔的人生维度，塔莉的影响永远留在了阿比盖尔的身体和意识，重燃了她的生活信心：她也许会重拾缘起童年的智识学习、她的账簿将不再是账簿、她拥有了想象的能力……

Mona Fastvold

二、阿比盖尔知情时间差

电影和短篇小说最关键的一处区别，是阿比盖尔得知塔莉死讯的时间点。这一改编尤为体现创作者魄力和创造力。

小说中，在阿比盖尔收到塔莉的信后不久、阿比盖尔仍在脑海措辞回信时，戴尔收到了芬尼的信，告知塔莉死讯。这一男男通信行为很能体现芬尼的性格修养，他不可能不知道塔莉之死对于戴尔之无足轻重、对于阿比盖尔之晴空霹雳，但仍然选择把信写给戴尔。

也就是塔莉生前从未读到阿比盖尔的回信、阿比盖尔在前往质询芬尼之前就已知塔莉之死。

电影的处理是，阿比盖尔收到塔莉的信后，写完回信寄出，塔莉读到了阿比盖尔的回信，但首先是被芬尼“截获”并大声朗读，这不仅加深了夫妻隔阂，更深化了芬尼的阴暗面，可以想见其男性自尊大受挫败，前文所质疑的芬尼对塔莉病情的重视程度也来源于此。

之后，出于担忧（房屋内发现血迹），阿比盖尔看完地图二话不说上路了，行路过程配上塔莉来信内容画外音，表现阿比盖尔充满希望的迫切心境。在直面芬尼时得知塔莉死讯时甚至还存有一点不相信，但真正看到塔莉尸体后发出惨叫，这个处理太强大了，这声惨叫意蕴之深、张力之猛，电影看完到现在还心有余悸。更具智慧的是紧随其后的性爱场面安排，把它们集合到一起，在特殊时刻一次性放出，情感瞬间喷涌而出，回忆和现实的对比，冲击力震撼至极。当然，按照前文“神学创世论”，塔莉之死、复活都是通往新世界的必然之路，对于阿比盖尔来说，塔莉永远活在她心里，只是明白这一点需要一个适应的过程。

Mona Fastvold对sex scene了然于胸

这一改编强调了生死两隔的瞬间画面、情感张力，影像化角度可谓最高潮段落，与最后的平静结尾形成动态呼应，给这个悲伤故事画上了充满希望的句点。实际上最后镜头的处理，从戴尔到塔莉，或许就对应了阿比盖尔的心理转变。结尾的“账簿或许是我的终生归宿”，至此，也有了升华于字面之上的内涵。

三、结构、细节的琐碎思考

与塔莉的相识改变了阿比盖尔，具体如何改变、改变成了什么样，体现了创作者的精妙、细腻构思。

日记的叙述始于当年一月一日，冬日严寒，早起洗土豆准备早饭，透过窗户见到冰霜大地，一天的劳作即将开始。这种生活在如今被称为“看得到头”，但却是阿比盖尔、塔莉们的普遍生活情形，无法改变、无从改变。尽管生活艰难贫乏，阿比盖尔的日记文笔却有她独有的细腻温暖（“奶牛没有受苦”），这种细腻温暖在遇上塔莉后，逐步从书面日记文本走出，体现在她的一举一动，到“惊喜”（astonishment and joy三连叹！）场面被释放到了极致。

关于这场“astonishment and joy”戏，导演想要表现一种初吻后的神情，至于如何演绎则完全取决于Katherine Waterston的演员自我修养。阿比盖尔在日记里自省时把不善言辞的自己比作缠绕生长于花盆的根茎（pot-bound root），极不善于表达对他人的喜爱。但与塔莉接吻后的阿比盖尔好像正在发生质变，如何体现这一质变？Katherine Waterston用半躺、舒展的身体语言诠释这个过程，花盆被打破，看不见的、压抑内心的（时代社会性别）系统制度不再（能）统治阿比盖尔的生活了，而这一切全凭她俩的情谊。从这场戏可知Katherine Waterston有内化剧作文本并将其外化于身体语言的表演能力，颇让人称奇！

KW即兴发挥的神来之笔

阿比盖尔日记自述

Mona Fastvold

Katherine Waterston

pot-bound root

1760 - 1856

由这场戏想到《女孩肖像》的篝火段落。篝火之后是初吻，而在这里，“惊喜”之前是初吻，或许可以这么说，篝火和惊喜的情境都是两人对爱情的终极确认，氛围神秘叵测、思绪魂牵梦萦，感染力和沉浸性直击灵魂。电影世界里近乎一个世纪的间隔，大西洋两岸见证了某种相似的爱情际遇。

经历完与塔莉的点点滴滴，阿比盖尔独自走上山坡（电影中是屋顶）眺望远方景色，想象、自省，对生活有了另一种态度，与开头“洗土豆”开始新一天不可同日而语，形成本质心态区别。这样的对比、变化也体现在农场日志从乏味的农业记录、夫妻生活，蜕变为情感满溢的自我发掘之旅。

日记开篇

日记结尾

阿比盖尔记得父亲对母亲毫无要求，除了……（大段大段的劳动、家务要求），但母亲从未出现在父亲的账簿中，除了母亲买裙子时。受邀去塔莉家吃饭，阿比盖尔专门去市场买了件蓝裙，这一行为意蕴颇深。情节铺垫和情绪烘托上，从买裙子开始就一步步进入了“悲伤”时间，节奏把控精准且冷酷。买裙子时看到周边的母亲抱着小孩，阿比盖尔心中被激起的涟漪体现在她躲闪的眼神；村庄农户家的女儿葬身火海，等于让她又经历了一次丧女之痛；剑拔弩张的邻居聚餐，回过头看，却成为与塔莉的在世永别……这组戏犹如三记重拳，连贯、高效、致命，看得人伤感之余不得不佩服创作者的高超手法。

观影时两个“笑点”，笑中带苦。初吻后，阿比盖尔沉浸在喜悦中无法自拔，好像失魂落魄的少女，等戴尔回家后才被拉回现实，（戴尔做完了他的工作，而阿比盖尔astonishment and joy了一天）这时都天黑了……一次亲热时，两人达成了美妙共识：我们的亲热放松身心，有利于农场发展……这两个场景再次放大了时代环境、自然环境对人的压迫，两个有趣的灵魂在夹缝中寻求解脱之道。

两处声音处理也让我印象深刻。第一次接吻时门廊上狗的踱步声、草丛依偎时的树枝掉落声。前者，两人间压抑情愫到达临界点时的紧张感被狗狗踱步声听觉化，后者，多是出于被发现的恐惧，而“被发现”本身也有较多指向，比如不好好关心农场事务，但首当其冲的还是“女同性恋”概念的隐秘和陌生，作为男性财产的女性进行这种恋爱的高风险性不言而喻。

四、唯爱永生

塔莉之死以及结局引发了不小的探讨，具体着眼于宗教神学内涵和悲剧性。原著和电影的宗教意味浓厚，除芬尼狂热阅读圣经和两个众人赶赴教堂做礼拜的全景镜头外，还表现在用词用典（“迟钝”、“法老的心”等等），以及宗教意义上的地狱、天堂、未来世界概念（“做礼拜”行为背后的理论基础）。然而塔莉的遭遇证明了这些构成“信仰”的要素并未赋予当时女性生活任何积极意义，反而成为恃强凌弱者的通行证，具有较强的讽刺意味。

从小说和电影所有的文字、影像能够看到的，是一个不再信奉宗教的女人和一个被男性以教义为法则迫害的女人互相帮助的悲哀故事，可以联想阿比盖尔提出的“在牢笼歌唱”，如果没有神学介入，这个时代的牢笼对塔莉们会是更好还是更差？这应是小说和电影提出的又一问题。这一问题的答案，可能在里维特探究18世纪《女教徒》跌宕命运时就被揭开、在欧洲启蒙运动时已有过系统论证。

电影最后让塔莉重新出场，提出了“想象”（imagination）的重要价值。前文认为塔莉的这次出场带来了积极向上的语境，因其构图的神学意义对应故事标题“The World to Come”包含了生者和复活的死者共同生活的圆满“未来世界”愿景。若从现实物质的方面考量，“想象”、“希望”这类飘忽的心理寄托式念想至多是困苦中的一丝慰藉，但也正是这种念想才不至于让她成为行尸走肉，所谓时代的微光。

优秀的艺术作品总有超越时代的能力。抚今追昔，人类发展已基本克服过去年代的致命白喉，然而宗教阴云的笼罩却从未消散。本片反映的女性生育义务、最近的《从不，很少，有时，总是》揭示当代女性堕胎身不由己，证明“未来世界”远未到来，2021年的现实能否完胜1856年的现实？这是电影留下的终极课题。

参考文献

1. Biennale Cinema 2020 - Press conferences (6 September 2020) //www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR-SuQHAMN8&list=WL&index=6&t=14073s

2. Rueda de prensa ''THE WORLD TO COME'' (Perlak) V.O. – 2020 //www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOalupYJAEc&list=WL&index=7

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4. 'The World to Come' Cast On Creating a Same-Sex Romance Set in a Time That Had No Words for It //www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeBQHFAHHIg&list=WL&index=4

5. 'The World to Come' Cast On Making A Movie About 'Vanished' Voices //www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvjLKNcRY4&list=WL&index=3

6. Face2Face with Mona Fastvold - Director of The World To Come //www.youtube.com/watch?v=psJ9yjR-s0Y&list=WL&index=2

7. @Pincent 对《打开心世界》的短评 //www.douban.com/people/1692454/status/3284003482/

8. INTERVIEW WITH MONA FASTVOLD [DIRECTOR]: ‘THE WORLD TO COME’ – A CINEMATIC DANCE FOR THE IMAGINATION //www.theitalianreve.com/interview-with-mona-fastvold-director-the-world-to-come-a-cinematic-dance-for-the-imagination/

9. COVER STORY WITH KATHERINE WATERSTON: ‘THE WORLD TO COME’- THE RISK OF BEING WHO YOU ARE //www.theitalianreve.com/cover-story-with-katherine-waterston-the-world-to-come-the-risk-of-being-who-you-are/

10. 维基百科“路加福音”//zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/路加福音

11. 维基百科“创造亚当”//zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/創造亞當

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13. 维基文库 “聖經 (和合本)/路加福音” //zh.wikisource.org/wiki/聖經_(和合本)/路加福音

14. 光和盐 “Luke 24: 13~35 路加福音 第二十四章 13~35节” //sites.google.com/site/saltandlightenglishstudy/christianity/online-bible-study/bible-study-in-chinese/book-of-luke/luke-24-13-34

15. Katherine Waterston: ‘I would love to make this film five times’ //lwlies.com/interviews/katherine-waterston-the-world-to-come/

16. The World to Come (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) //www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_k57hlvte0&list=OLAK5uy_lBDBkNbo2dL-e4agr-yEie7SeTvHAhd00&index=22

17. THE WORLD TO COME | Official Trailer I Bleecker Street //www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhQu4tcHLeU&t=12s

18. Katherine Waterston - THE WORLD TO COME - 77 Venice Film Festival //www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfXkq2LG09Q

19. The World to Come - Sundance Film Festival 2021 //www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgKZ0JzWn04

20. Biennale Cinema 2020 - The World to Come (Red Carpet) //www.youtube.com/watch?v=o17FumD9Y7Y

21. Sundance Film Festival 2021 Q&A for The World to Come - festival.sundance.org //www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ0YQfU460g

22. Vanessa Kirby and Katherine Waterston on Their LGBTQ-Themed Period Drama ‘The World to Come’ //www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qrwAiLlQXc&list=WL&index=5

23. Vanessa Kirby & Katherine Waterston on Developing Voice and More in 'The World to Come' //www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkbYqsf0vcc&list=WL&index=3

24. Mona Fastvold, Vanessa Kirby, Katherine Waterston & Casey Affleck Talk 'The World to Come' //www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WqI9g99b_U&list=WL&index=2&t=14s

25. THE WORLD TO COME Interviews - Vanessa Kirby, Katherine Waterston, Christopher Abbott, Mona Fastvold //www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgUq41CuyRc&list=WL&index=1

26. 'The World to Come' star on complexity of portraying a 19th century lesbian romance //www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/world-come-star-complexity-portraying-19th-century-lesbian-romance-n1258007?cid=sm_npd_nn_fb_ma&fbclid=IwAR1Z2tI8VgUF1ocYyHyI_FRMoslR49FaW8wm1RE2kJMvBkegSsF6I0Wz6kE

27. New Frontiers - The Music of 'The World to Come' //www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckGz6kQeACE

28. Q&A: Katherine Waterston Says All These Lesbian Period Dramas Indicate a ‘Problem, Not a Pattern’ //pridesource.com/article/qa-katherine-waterston-says-all-these-lesbian-period-dramas-indicate-a-problem-not-a-pattern/

29. Watch This One: Mona Fastvold’s Gay Romance ‘The World to Come’ Breaks Out Big at Venice //www.indiewire.com/2020/09/mona-fastvold-gay-romance-the-world-to-come-venice-2020-1234584778/

30. Love Thy Neighbor. //news.letterboxd.com/post/643224783909175296/love-thy-neighbor-mona-fastvold

31. Katherine Waterston On Her Queer Frontier Romance, ‘The World To Come’ //www.huffpost.com/entry/katherine-waterston-the-world-to-come-fantastic-beasts_n_6023e498c5b6c56a89a5d7c9

32. The World to Come Puts Queer Women's Emotional Journeys Front & Center //www.pride.com/movies/2021/2/12/world-come-puts-queer-womens-emotional-journeys-front-center?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=movies

33. THE WORLD TO COME | Scene at The Academy //www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdfXRR7RgEY&list=LL&index=4

34. In Conversation: The World to Come - PRESENTED BY GLAAD + OUTFEST //www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5pI0oO8wqc

看死君：继罗南和凯特主演的那部《菊石》后，我们终于又等到一部姬片。“花园”第32期，要为大家推荐的便是这部由凡妮莎·柯比和凯瑟琳·沃特斯顿主演的《打开心世界》。在去年威尼斯国际电影节上，本片突出重围荣获断背狮奖，还有人称其为“女版《断背山》”。

栏目| 花园

作者|花无宴

说起英国女演员凡妮莎·柯比，很多国内观众都是通过《王冠》《碟中谍6》以及《速度与激情：特别行动》认识的。而她演技上真正的炸裂时刻，则是去年在威尼斯电影节上夺得影后的那部《女人的碎片》，后来还提名了奥斯卡影后。

凡妮莎·柯比凭借《女人的碎片》提名奥斯卡最佳女主角

无独有偶，在同届威尼斯电影节上，凡妮莎·柯比还有另一部电影入围，那便是挪威导演莫娜·法斯特欧德的新作《打开心世界》。这部成功摘得断背狮大奖的女同题材影片，让我们得以看到凡妮莎的另一面风情。

相比凡妮莎在《女人的碎片》中所展现的女性妊娠的高光时刻，以及逼近真实的窒息感与疼痛感；她在《打开心世界》中所塑造的19世纪古典少妇，同样以撩拨之态和直率性情而为影迷观众们所称道。

但《打开心世界》并不是一部让凡妮莎·柯比和凯瑟琳·沃德斯顿两位实力派女星袒胸露乳的蕾丝艳片，而是深挖美国尚处于开疆拓土时期的缝隙角落，以及两对农家夫妻的悲苦人生。 影片改编自吉姆·谢泼德的同名短篇小说，谢泼德本人也全程参与了编剧工作。而另一位编剧朗·汉森，则是曾由布拉德·皮特主演的西部犯罪片《神枪手之死》的原著作者。

2007《神枪手之死》

作为《打开心世界》的主演之一，卡西·阿弗莱克当年正是通过《神枪手之死》和朗·汉森结识的。当阿弗莱克向汉森询问最近有无好故事值得拍摄时，汉森便向他推荐了《打开心世界》这部小说。这也是为什么阿弗莱克既是本片的主演，同样也担任着制片人。

为求与原著小说的风格保持一致，导演莫娜·法斯特欧德全程采用日记体叙事方式，以女主角阿比盖尔的第一人称视角，讲述了她与凡妮莎饰演的另一位妇人塔莉之间的动人故事。

1856年1月1日，跟丈夫戴尔一同生活在美国东北部偏远农场的阿比盖尔，像往常一样记录着自己孤独、无聊且阴郁的一天。

对于阿比盖尔而言，她与丈夫戴尔的生活枯燥且了无生趣。戴尔是个为农场经营殚精竭虑的憨厚农夫，除了偶尔摆弄自己的那些机械器件，他将所有的闲暇时间都用来记账。

可阿比盖尔却是个心怀文艺幻想的敏感女人，除了对文学诗歌颇感兴趣之外，她还每天都用抒情而细腻的文字，映照着心里的每一层波澜。 原本，在幼女内莉诞生后，夫妻二人的关系暂时得以黏合，而内莉却突患白喉之症，仅不到五岁便猝然夭折。阿比盖尔和戴尔的婚姻危机便日益加剧。

直到某一天，塔莉在教堂前出现，引起了阿比盖尔的注意，后者的人生才开始焕发新机。

面对内敛保守的阿比盖尔，塔莉显得外向活泼得多，主动在阿比盖尔门前跟她寒暄许久。自此，两人开始了一段交心之旅。 对各自丈夫的抱怨，兴趣爱好的表露，以及彼此之间所激荡的情感，让两颗疲惫麻木的心在冬日寒风中有了难得的温暖。

在两人更进一步的深入交往中，她们开始渐生出某种异样的情愫。最开始，阿比盖尔只是用略显暧昧的词句在日记中写下自己的心理变化；而塔莉则要直率坦诚得多，她甚至主动向阿比盖尔示爱，还给了她一个浅浅的吻。

由此，两个在家中都得不到丈夫疼爱的女人，相互温存，成为日常“偷情”的一对。

然而，塔莉的丈夫芬尼却是一个敏感且手段强硬的狠角色。在他日渐察觉到塔莉对自己变得冷漠之后，不但对塔莉实施家暴，更是连夜驱车赶路，将塔莉带到了另一座孤独的农场。

影片最后，阿比盖尔终于勇敢地踏上寻找塔莉的旅程，却发现塔莉已在床上死去多时。生活还得继续，而阿比盖尔却只能在塔莉还活着的幻想中，度过今后的岁月。

很多人都将本片与李安导演的《断背山》相提并论，认为两者都讲述了一对同性恋者背着各自的另一半偷情的故事。

李安《断背山》

但在人物关系的设定上，两者其实还是存在着一定差别。《断背山》中的一对牛仔，其实早在结婚之前就已经相爱，只不过彼此都以为未来不会再见面，所以才选择结婚；而《打开心世界》则有着《廊桥遗梦》似的“偷情”设计，两位女主角在婚姻关系的掩盖下偷食禁果。

所以，在阿比盖尔和塔莉的这段恋爱中，我们很明显能看出她们之间的情感区别。 阿比盖尔更为保守胆怯，她虽然早就对塔莉存有爱慕之情，却隐忍不发。直到塔莉向她当面表白、热吻相迎后，她才以急切的回吻表达了自己更为炽热的情感。

阿比盖尔几乎不曾主动去过塔莉家中，每次两人相处时，她都警惕被别人瞧见；甚至在塔莉冒着大暴雪冻伤之时，她也不敢轻易前去看望。

说到底，阿比盖尔的确贪恋这段甜蜜之情，但是她想要的是安全范围内的偷情，而不是逾越常规的私奔。

可塔莉不同，她始终渴盼着阿比盖尔的回应和主动。她其实始终想要打破两人的现状，寻求着厮守终生的冒险的可能。

然而，这一试探性的提议，却被阿比盖尔的惶恐所打断。正如影片《菊石》所展现的那样，在十九世纪中期那样的时代背景之下，两个女人想要享受同性之爱，几无可能。

阿比盖尔和塔莉基于爱情的不同态度，其实和各自丈夫的性格也都有着莫大的关系。

阿比盖尔之所以会倾向偷情，正在于丈夫戴尔的“默许”。虽然影片中并没有道明戴尔在妻子和塔莉偷情期间，是否知晓真相；可每当塔莉到家中来访，他便知趣离开，让两人私处。仅就这一点来看，戴尔对于妻子已然非常宽容。

这主要是因为，阿比盖尔对于戴尔来说，并不只是妻子，更是安全的港湾和依靠。

我们从暴风雪这一桥段中，便能够看出端倪。影片利用暴雪狂舞的极寒天气道明两点：1.戴尔作为男人的胆怯。他在暴雪中修补羊圈之后，不敢冒险归家。2. 阿比盖尔的坚韧和果敢。她在腰间绑好麻绳，冒着危险赶到羊圈救回丈夫。

这在后来阿比盖尔照顾生病的丈夫，戴尔讲述自己儿时经历地震后的心理阴影，以及明确表示没有阿比盖尔自己活不下去等情节中，均能看出戴尔对妻子的依赖。

但塔莉的丈夫芬尼却有所不同，他是一位道貌岸然的暴戾基督徒。表面上，他用《圣经》中有关夫妻关系及妻子义务的经文约束着塔莉；而实际上，他是个寡情薄意、以残忍手段虐杀动物，并且对妻子怀有报复之心的伪君子，毫不顾忌《圣经》中向善、宽恕的基本教义。

尽管，影片最终并没有直接表露出芬尼谋杀了塔莉的真相，但从诸多细节中，我们都能看出这位家暴者的杀妻动机。

影片中有很多细节都铺垫了这个阴影。比如芬妮曾跟塔莉讲述郡中的杀妻案件，塔莉脖子上明显的勒痕，塔莉家中的沾血毛巾，以及塔莉在与芬尼的舞蹈中，逐渐垂臂，悄然死去。

其实，无论是戴尔的宽忍，还是芬尼的暴戾，最终指向的都是那个夫权至上的社会中男性话语体系带来的禁锢与恐怖。

这种肃杀的氛围，在影片的两处闲笔中最为让人印象深刻。

其中一处是上文提到的暴雪桥段，除了阿比盖尔和戴尔之间的营救行动，还有一段是塔莉打算在木屋避雪的场面。此时在幽暗的木屋一隅，传来“靠近点姑娘，这里比较暖和”的声音。当塔莉点燃火柴一看，便发现三个虎视眈眈的中年男性。

恶劣的天气，叠加男性潜在的性威胁，成为那个时代激发女性身心恐惧的标志性象征。

而另一处更为隐秘的批判性场景，是阿比盖尔归家途中，看到某户人家房屋着火，幼女在阁楼被熊熊大火困住，活活烧死。

此处，影片不但借小女孩的意外死去，再度激起阿比盖尔曾因白喉离世的女儿的心中隐痛，更预示着阿比盖尔接下来更为惨烈的痛苦：彻底失去挚爱塔莉。

这些颇具原始野蛮气息的骇人场景，在导演法斯特欧德的出色运镜下，涌现出莫名的惊悚意味与失落之感。

这不禁让人思考，在那样一个不把女性作为完整个体的残酷的时代，阿比盖尔和塔莉的同性之恋，究竟有多少是真正基于爱情，又有多少是基于无奈。

就像阿比盖尔在她如散文般的抒情语句中所说的那样，无数的女孩嫁为人妇，她们尚且不懂人生的乐趣，却得在婚姻的义务中逐渐枯萎。

当阿比盖尔将无望的眼神投向贸然闯入她生命中的塔莉，同样，当塔莉怀着希冀从阿比盖尔的细腻心灵中获得源泉、滋润生命时，她们曾感受到一种前所未有的放松和生机。

影片中，每当展现两位女主角与各自的丈夫相处时，画面上基本都是灰暗无光的室内场景。身为女人的她们，或是得在床上为男人们孕育孩子，或是得操持繁重的家务。镜头语言也常为门框式构图，以寓意二人的“被囚”状态。

而当阿比盖尔和塔莉单独相处时，则多为光源充足的空间，或是郊外草地，或是壁炉一侧，而两者之间的状态也大多为闲散聊天，自然又不失灵动。

由此，这对同性璧人的爱情，在塔莉苍白陨落之时，才显得尤为痛彻心扉。他们之间的爱恋其实早已不仅仅是情侣关系，而更像是心灵伴侣、知己挚友，无论少了哪一个，都无异于得忍受抽筋扒皮、腌渍暴晒的痛苦。

影片《打开心世界》借用欧美近代历史的夹缝所虚拟的同性相爱故事，对男性话语体系进行消解和批驳，对女性话语权进行重构和补漏的类型已然，已然成为欧美文艺片的一股潮流。

瑟琳·席安玛的《燃烧女子的肖像》、弗朗西斯·李的《菊石》，既着力于表现女同之间微妙的互动关系，同时也指涉着女性在历史大潮中的孤寂、无奈与苦痛。

2020《菊石》

男女之间的爱情，对女性来说其实是种话语权至上的剥削；只有女性之间的情感才能起到慰藉和疗愈的作用。爱情，不只是荷尔蒙激发的择偶触媒，更是性别批判的有力手段。

作为一部女性导演的电影作品，影片《打开心世界》在声效和摄影上同样不落俗套。

配乐方面，请来了丹尼尔·布隆伯格这位1990年出生的年轻艺术家，全程用管乐器演奏出柔和轻缓的音乐，让主角的情绪悄然蔓延。而暴风雪那场戏，则用无调性音乐配以嘶叫声，营造出惊悚未知的不安氛围，让人时刻为两位女主角揪心。

摄影层面，则采用16mm的胶片拍摄，使影片拥有一种古典的韵味。相比在画面上有着同样考量的《第一头牛》，法斯特欧德明显将色彩的饱和度、对比度调得更低，极富苍凉意味。

这些都让《打开心世界》成为一部非常耐看的影片，它让我们不得不为那个年代的女性禁忌之恋而感伤，更为之而动容。

栏目| 花园；作者|花无宴

公号| 看电影看到死

编辑| 骑屋顶少年；转载请注明出处

作者： pASslosS

在3月全网上线的片单中，《打开心世界》格外值得关注——它不仅入围了威尼斯电影节的主竞赛单元，还拿下了酷儿狮奖。

不过观众对该片的期待未止于此。

除了奥斯卡影帝卡西·阿弗莱克「制片+演员」双重身份的加持，主演阵容还有《神奇动物在哪里》的凯瑟琳·沃特斯顿，以及凭借同期女性主义佳作《女人的碎片》拿下威尼斯影后的凡妮莎·柯比。

故事发生在1856年的纽约上州，这里在影片中被描绘成一片与世隔绝的幽闭之地。 一间被冰雪封藏的小木屋在屏幕上停留数秒，阿比盖尔无法入睡。

「骄傲几乎殆尽，希望渺茫，我们迎来了新年。」

新年的第一天，阿比盖尔用无精打采的语调描述了她的观察。几个月前，她年幼的女儿死于白喉，这一创伤足以令一个家庭破碎。

她和丈夫戴亚分坐在餐桌两端，一言不发地吃着煮熟的土豆。这一幕，让人想到《都灵之马》里险恶的黑白色调，这里的生活似乎已干涸倒退至「生存」的原始状态。

这里多说一句，本片改编自吉姆·谢泼德的短篇小说，而促使原作者动笔写下这一短篇小说的契机，是1856年一场发生在纽约上州的暴风雪。在浏览当地农民的日记时，他发现了一张纸条，上面写着:

「我最好的朋友搬走了，我想我再也见不到她了。」 这张纸条成了故事的缘起，同时决定了这会是一个以人物自述为轴心的故事。

在电影中，阿比盖尔在劳作之余无休止地写作，这是她表达内心生活的唯一方式。

2月，纽约上州走出严寒，没人能预料到这里即将被尖叫的暴风雪和野蛮的大火撕裂。

当阿比盖尔初见塔莉，她们的眼眸便已散发着坦率的依赖。

阿比盖尔是埋头苦写的沉思者，她把世界看作由墨水和想象力构筑而成的保护伞；塔莉则不同，她整个身躯上扬，脸颊红润，头发松散地铺在空气中。她很直接，没有被想象力驱使的习惯。

阿比盖尔和塔莉创造了一个远离了既定生活的空间，她们的男人也一同被搁置在外面。

她们分享关于家庭、农活、孩子的经验，分享童年和遗憾，偶尔守在篝火旁一言不发，或是干脆语无伦次。

有那么一个场景，她们在阳光下一同拧干蒸腾着热气的衣物，情感已然外化为一个金黄色的场景。

热恋珍贵如夕阳，她们坠入爱河。但此前并没有任何模板告诉她们这是一种怎样的情感。

而《打开心世界》最为成功的一处，就是阿比盖尔和塔莉之间的火花是生效的。羞怯的微笑和无法挪移的目光、触碰的手指、足底按摩式的爱抚、笨拙的吻……

她们的亲密关系建立于导演对肢体情绪的细腻洞察，以及相爱之人彼此间那生机勃勃的拙态和孩童般的喜悦。

热恋降临，阿比盖尔仰靠在桌旁的长凳上，双臂完全放松地舒展开来。

Astonishment and joy. Astonishment and joy. Astonishment and joy.

她成为自己情感的拓荒者，忠于真实欲望的显现。

回顾过往的同性影片，其实最常被拿来浓墨重彩一番的，便是因觉察同性欲望而旁生的「羞耻感」。不过《打开心世界》抛弃了类似的心理构筑，只让她们坠入情感，并将注定夭折的爱情尽可能延后。

所以这部电影既感性又具有现代思维。尽管罗马尼亚的取景地给予影片一派荒芜的基调，但看完之后我仍不禁要问，这些生活在19世纪的农民是否真的如此开放，以至于能够清晰表达内心深处的感受，坦诚面对近乎禁忌的欲望？

而光是这两点，连我这个现代人都很难做到。

不过，《打开心世界》的底子仍是一个经典的爱情故事，放到异性恋电影的传统里，这种模式已被尝试过太多次，其实有些缺乏挑战性。

巧合的是，《打开心世界》与《菊石》都是以19世纪女同性恋为题材的影片，足可见无论是真实故事还是虚构故事，近几年电影人从历史中截取/刻画「女同性恋爱情故事」的做法都很频繁，不知不觉已经创造了新的安全区。

其中黄金标准自然是是《燃烧女子的肖像》，围绕其旋转的除了《菊石》还有《伊莉莎与玛瑟拉》《告诉蜜蜂》《薇塔与弗吉尼亚》和《与艾米丽的疯狂夜晚》。

这些带有年代背景的女同片有个共同的主题，那就是在一个没有情感范例的时空里发明「爱情」。

回到影片，其实除了阿比盖尔和塔莉，两个男性角色同样值得玩味。

芬尼记录着塔莉的一举一动，妻子去了哪里，停留了多久，有没有做家务，肯不肯给他生孩子，是否出轨……

这是一个与宗教和父权制传统捆扎在一起的男性角色，也是我们经常在其它影片中看到的魔鬼化身。

他对妻子的残忍源于他对待女性的方式。影片并未刻意突出他谋杀塔莉是否是因为她爱上了女人，但可以想象，如果塔莉爱上的是另一个男人，结局恐怕也是一样的。

但是卡西·阿弗莱克饰演的戴亚却有着不可思议的人物弧光。他总是用一种沙哑而受伤的声音讲话（卡西·阿弗莱克的自带技能）。相较于企图控制塔莉的芬尼，戴亚这个角色跳出了既有的框架。

在影片的最后，观众能从戴亚身上瞥见人性的一面。他既没有任何失常的迹象，也没有借此要挟妻子。阿比盖尔和戴亚在面对悲剧这一层面，是坚持到最后的、惺惺相惜的同盟者。

的确，戴亚是一个情感表达能力有限的人。对阿比盖尔来说，他与塔莉的距离正如针线盒与地图册的距离。但他还是能做到把渴望埋藏在心底，并通过阿比盖尔对塔莉的情感寻找自我解救的途径。

另一面，他对阿比盖尔的提问探讨了人的极限，即一种「无能为力」。阿比盖尔对塔莉的追忆因无能而自我痛恨，还有他们的女儿，这些都是类似的伤痛。

但事实上，《打开心世界》差点因为一个显而易见的缺陷毁于一旦。

观众在大部分篇幅里听到的主要是画外音。它取材自小说文本，虽然平静而生动，但对画外音的过度依赖几乎触碰了电影这项艺术形式的禁忌。

更致命的是，这些画外音具有繁复深邃的的文学性。当我们单拿出一句台词时，会发现它已经足够丰满，那么为了给这种丰满让位，对视听的削弱已是必然。

可以说，这部影片的魅力来自文本，桎梏也来自文本。当她们在树林里读着优美精致的台词，人物似乎已从日常抽离。但为了体验这样纯粹的浪漫和诗意，我说服自己融入到这种架空的美学当中，便也毫无障碍地接受了。

不过很神奇的是，在很多时刻里，画外音不仅没有成为困扰，反倒创造了新的和谐。 散文诗般的语言成了「氛围发动机」，导演围绕文本创造出新的视听结构，剪辑、摄影、声音和时代元素……它们转换着搭配方案向前均衡流动。

所以说一部影片不是不能有画外音，而是要创造性地使用画外音。

片中的画外音更多时候是作为角色不可言说的心声或私藏的秘密而存在。而正因为其语调平静，所以情绪功能转而交给了其它视听元素。导演说，旁白的录制几乎是对影片进行了二次创作。

令人印象深刻的视觉场景同样存在，正如摄影师André Chemetoff拍下的这一场令人头晕目眩的暴风雪。

片中很多室内镜头受到19世纪绘画的启发，其中就包括丹麦画家 Vilhelm Hammershoi的作品。而影片外景的氛围则让人想起画家约翰·辛格·萨金特。

Vilhelm Hammershoi的作品

当然，片中最难以被忽视的元素是音乐，它是影片真正不可或缺的那一部分。 担任配乐的丹尼尔·布拉姆博格在开机前就已经开始作曲了。他参与了影片的拍摄过程，从自然环境中汲取灵感，并有意识地围绕画外音来构建场景。

本片原声带里的曲目非常清晰，几乎就是音乐版的私密日记。

木质地板的颤抖、嘶鸣的动物、晃动的牛铃、呼啸的风声……用悠扬的爵士乐旋律拉动情感，用实验性的音符烘衬焦虑与挑战，正如那场被声音抽象化的暴风雪和在风中尖叫的火焰，二者如此契合。看完电影后重新听一遍原声带，场景会在脑中精准浮现。

虽然《打开心世界》有着丰盈而庞杂的元素，却几乎与《燃烧女子的肖像》背道而驰。后者的导演瑟琳·席安玛在配乐的使用上非常节制，刻意营造的空白成功升华了全片那为数不多的几段旋律。

《燃烧女子的肖像》篝火旁的神圣合唱

但我们可以看到另一种方案在《打开心世界》中生效。在片中居于主导位置的画外音和音乐能够进行交流。它们行走在单行线上，又幻化成不同形式的散文诗此消彼长。

正如艺术家劳瑞·安德森在音乐中所尝试的，她将语言与音乐结合，语言里包含音乐性，音乐里有文学性。她拍摄过一部散文电影《狗心》，其中同样充斥着大量旁白和旋律，却和谐而极富魅力。

如果《打开心世界》是一首曲子，那么影片对休止符的运用也很有趣。

戴亚的突然出现曾两度打断阿比盖尔的幻想，一次是通过音乐的戛然而止把阿比盖尔从热恋中惊醒，另一次则是在片尾，阿比盖尔抱着塔莉，回忆被埋藏在日记里的肌肤之亲，然而画面终止，一切回归现实。

归根结底，日记是幻想，地图册则是幻想的延伸。

文字窥探着自己的内心，也窥探远方的爱人。阿比盖尔情感丰富的散文诗里掩藏着怯懦，她的勇敢停留在对欢愉的享受，却无能于拯救。正如她曾偷偷跑到塔莉的家附近，在角落里用望远镜放大塔莉的身影。

阿比盖尔是一只会在笼中唱歌的鸟儿，也是在笼中幸存的鸟儿。但是，仅此而已。

日记里的文字能带来什么呢？其实在闭塞的环境中，唯一的变量就是想象力。想象力可用来自杀，但也可以是一种治疗方式。它是一种理解「存在」命题的方法论。

一个人唯一能逃避的就是想象力，正如芬尼。

但一个人能用来拯救自己的也只有想象力，正如阿比盖尔。

在电影里，死去的女儿和死去的塔莉揭开了一个鲜血淋漓的真相，即「旧的恐惧总会取代新的恐惧」。

生活的痛苦不断翻新，新的土壤在等待干涸，并催促情感里的执着和顽强更夯实一些。 总的来说，《打开心世界》是一部没有让人失望的影片，无论是氛围、视听语言还是情感张力都有很大的优势。当你看过之后，会像是经历了一场虚无缥缈的倾盆大雨。

阿比盖尔很孤独。

她的孤独不是因为失去女儿——悲伤顶多只是加深了这种孤独。她的孤独源自于无人能懂，源自于与众不同。但她也不是一个激进抗争的人，她只是在一日一日看似认命的平静生活中暗淡疏离。她的心不为什么而跳动，她只是活着，尽一个妻子的责任，和周围人一样的生活，重复和上一辈一样的生活。

然而塔利出现了，这是阿比盖尔生命里的光。她无法抗拒这种吸引，她假装不在意但其实无比煎熬的等待着塔利的来访。她的脸上出现笑容了，她的心开始生机勃勃的跳动了。

而对塔利而言，阿比盖尔的吸引力也是毋庸置疑，不然她不会一次次来访，不会控制不住向对方坦露心迹。这一段真是好甜啊。多好啊，我爱的你，正好也爱着我呢～

可是爱有多深，喜悦有多强，最后的永诀就有多伤。

阿比盖尔抱着塔利发出绝望的嘶喊，过往所有的水乳交融欢愉爱意一幕幕从眼前掠过。她的爱。她的光。她人生的希望。从此天人永隔。爱过再失去，是人间至痛。我忍不住想，将来的人生，阿比盖尔要怎么活下去呢？失去所爱是心脏上开了一个填不满的黑洞，往后余生，她还如何能退回到死水一样的生活？还是说，要靠着咀嚼回忆，来应对苍白的未来？

无论哪一种，都太痛太痛了。

女人无法主宰自己的命运真是太糟糕的事。塔利这样性格，在芬尼这样的男人手里陨落几乎是一种必然。他们糟糕到透顶的婚姻要么会毁掉塔利的灵魂，要么就是她的性命。我甚至庆幸，还好她还曾拥有过和阿比盖尔的美好爱情。

我只希望时间可以愈合伤口，至少让时间能够稀释痛苦。

Tuesday, January 1st, 1856.

Fair and very cold.

This morning,

ice in our bedroom for the first time all winter.

The water froze on the potatoes

as soon as they were washed.

With little pride, and less hope,

we begin the new year.

On the porch after sunup,

I could hear the low chirping of sparrows

in the hedgerows that are now buried in the snow.

Dyer has maintained that with good health,

and a level head,

there is always an excellent chance

for a farmer willing to work.

He feels he can never fully rid himself of his burdens.

And I'm certain that because his mind is in such a bad state,

it affects his whole system.

He told me this morning

that contentment was like a friend he never gets to see.

You're late with the milking.

She wasn't suffering.

And you?

Since our acquisition of this farm,

my husband had kept a ledger to help him see the year whole.

This way he knows what each crop

and field pays from year to year.

And Dyer has asked me to keep a diary of matters

that might otherwise go overlooked...

From tools lent out to bills outstanding.

That I have done.

But there would be no record in these dull and simple pages

of the most passionate circumstances

of our seasons past.

No record of our emotions or fears.

Our greatest joys.

Our most piercing sorrows.

With our child,

it was as if I'd found my bearings.

But I too rarely told her that she was our treasure.

Would you like to try?

Like this, papa?

That's it.

She often seemed separate from us,

as if she was working at just fitting in where she could.

They saw his brothers and sisters

and they were the mouse's family...

There is something so affecting

about mute and motionless grief and illness

in a child so young.

She put her arms around me and said nothing else.

But it felt like we were speaking.

I have become my grief.

I have become my grief.

"Welcome sweet day of rest",

says the hymn.

And Sunday is most welcome for its few hours of quiet ease.

As for me.

I no longer attend.

After the calamity of Nellie's loss,

what calm I enjoy

does not derive from the notion of a better world to come.

I want to purchase an atlas.

- It could be a bother. - No, no. No bother.

Who is that?

His name is Finney.

- His wife Tallie. - Hyah!

I met them at the feed store.

They seem to keep to themselves.

They're renting the Zebrun farm.

Monday, February 4th.

Why is ink like fire?

Because it is a good servant,

and a hard master.

Did you say something?

I want to purchase an atlas.

I suppose there are more frivolous purchases

one could make.

I've saved 90 cents of my own.

I can't imagine a better way to spend it.

Could buy your husband a gift.

What better gift could I give him

than a wife who is no longer a dullard?

My self-education

seems the only way to keep my unhappiness

from overwhelming me.

Good afternoon.

I've been using a broom on my porch.

The snow is so dry.

I'm Tallie.

Abigail.

I hope I'm not intruding.

No.

I just, I needed to get away for the day.

The farm is a slaughterhouse right now.

My husband is killing his hogs.

Would you like to come in?

Yes, I'd love that.

Or we could just stay out on the porch, shivering.

I know it's the dullest of all things

to have an ignorant neighbor come by

and spoil a Sunday afternoon.

Oh, no, you're the most welcome here.

But I know the feeling.

Sometimes, I imagine during the Widow Weldon's visits

that I've been plunged up to my eyes in a vat of the prosaic.

Oh, Widow Weldon!

She got going on the county levy once...

She saw I had noticed her hair,

and admitted she had been vain about it as a girl.

She said that back then, she'd worn it longer

and plaited in a bun at the back of her head.

In the winter sun through the window,

her skin had an underflush of rose and violet

which so disconcerted me that I had to look away.

As always,

when it came to speaking

and attempting to engage another's affections,

circumstances doomed me to striving and anxiety.

From my earliest youth, I was like a pot-bound root,

all curled in upon itself.

I hope I'm not keeping you from something.

No.

I'm glad you've come.

Finney saw your husband at the cooperage.

He mentioned his new method for farrowing his piglets.

With some asperity?

My husband mentions everything with some asperity.

I told him that once,

and...

he observed in response that it seemed to be quite a favor

to get a kind word from me.

And I told him that if he was married to himself,

he'd soon find out what a favor it was.

My mother always said that having children

would resolve that dilemma.

My mother made the same claim.

And yet...

Here we are...

Both childless.

My daughter, Nellie, would have been five today.

Oh.

How did she pass?

Diphtheria.

Last September.

I'm so sorry.

- Hello. - Oh.

Good afternoon.

I'm Dyer.

Tallie.

Oh, it's late, isn't it? I should be getting on.

Don't go on my account.

Oh, no.

That's a nice wrap you have.

Thank you.

I never receive compliments for my clothes.

I'm so glad you've come.

Meeting you has made my day.

It has?

Well...

How pleasant and uncommon it is to make someone's day.

Thursday, February 14th.

Dyer's third night with the fever.

Drink this.

I plan on getting sick more often.

My wife smiles at me.

Promise me you're not gonna die.

That would be the opposite of my intention.

I've restored him somewhat

with an enema of molasses,

warm water and lard.

Also a drop of turpentine next to his nose.

I spent the day reconsidering my conversation with Tallie.

We compared childhood beds...

Mine in which the straw

was always breaking up and thinning out.

And hers, which was as hard, she claimed,

as the Pharaoh's heart.

I should be taking care of you.

I agree.

Her manner is sweet and calm and gracious.

And yet her spirits seem to quicken

at the prospect of further conversation with me.

I find that everything I wish to tell her

loses its eloquence in her presence.

So how did you come to meet Dyer?

He was the oldest son of a neighbor.

He helped out on my father's farm.

And was he instantly smitten by you?

He was, wasn't he?

He was instantly smitten by you.

He admired what he viewed as my practical good sense.

You don't countenance words like "smitten", do you?

I suspect I use all the same words you do.

I suspect you don't.

In speech, yes, because you're shy.

But I bet you're more accomplished in your writing.

Thank you.

Your good sense, that's all your husband was smitten with?

And my efficient habits.

That's all?

My handy ways.

Dyer likes mechanical things.

I have no doubt he would've been happier

had he been allowed to pursue

the natural scientific bent of his mind.

Circumstances forced him into farming.

And despite all of that, his heart compelled him to you?

Well...

You would have to ask him about that.

And what would you say if I asked you?

I suppose that as a suitor, he was...

not generous, but he was just.

And that he was affectionate, if not constant.

I wasn't sure of his suitability.

But my family felt that more improving

might be in the offing.

After all, it is a long lane that has no turning.

You both have much to be thankful for.

We do.

It's still too soon.

Sorry.

Tuesday, February 19th.

My reluctance seems to have become his shame.

His nighttime pleasures, which were never numerous,

have curtailed even more.

And I have so far refused to engage his persistence

on the subject of another child.

Evening.

This is my husband Finney.

And you already know Dyer.

Our paths have crossed.

And this is the Abigail that I've been mentioning.

My wife talks about you as if you're all about the house,

and everything reminds her of you.

Oh, well, it's all I can do but sit cross-legged and morose

whenever she's away.

- Come in. - Thank you.

The rain so heavy that it broke down our mill.

Did you miss me?

Yes.

You look different.

No...

Finney seems agreeable.

Yes, he is, when he chooses to be.

I guess I'm supposed to offer a toast.

But when it comes to the social graces,

I'm about as smooth as coming down a rocky hill in the dark.

What my husband means is he's so happy

to finally get together,

and to see Dyer again.

Cheers.

Part of what I value about my wife

is how she taught me to associate with my fellow beings.

Finney, that's a handsome neck tie you've chosen.

Thank you.

But with my neck,

my head sticks out like a chicken in a poultry wagon.

Your tart was wonderfully savory.

Oh, did you like it? I'm so glad.

I was worried I wouldn't have enough eggs

- because we had an accident. - Oh.

My hired hand pulled down a box of eggs and broke two dozen.

I announced that he was unlucky to eggs

and no longer allowed to approach them.

"Unlucky to eggs." I like that.

I told him that his shirt had so many holes,

he can make a necklace of it.

Well, we often wish we could afford a hired hand.

We've suffered a great deal from the carelessness of hired hands.

Mr. Holt's hired hand is said to have swum his horse

over the canal despite the cold.

Really?

Yes.

Winter's been so hard,

sometimes Mrs. Weldon's son

has had to deliver the mail on skis.

Now our letters can get lost at breakneck speed.

Did you write letters to Tallie when you were courting?

I did.

And did Tallie keep them?

Only Tallie knows for sure.

Monday, February 25th.

Finney and Tallie's bond confounds me.

At times, when their eyes meet,

they seem yoked in opposition to one another,

while at other times, there seems a shared regard.

There is something going on between us

that I cannot unravel.

Hold this here.

Okay.

Thank you.

Hello, Dyer.

Well, hello.

You're off?

Yes, to town.

Have a good day.

She'll be pleased to see you.

Happy birthday!

Brought you some things.

Hand-knitted?

I hoped you'd like them.

I do.

An Atlas!

The United States of America.

Oh and a little pot of apple sauce with an egg on top.

My feet are freezing.

Oh, let me warm them.

How's Finney?

He's Finney.

Ah, it tickles.

My husband records trespassers in his journals.

And this morning, when I asked him

what he intends to do about them,

his response was so unpleasant that I...

resolved to visit you...

so that there would be something in my day

other than his meanness.

Dyer thinks he has many estimable qualities.

He does.

And he also uses a ledger to keep accounting of whom I visit

and how long I stay.

Why?

I have no idea.

As he's gotten more like this,

I've given up trying to figure out

all the peculiarities of his...

odd little world.

I suppose he's especially unhappy with me since...

I'm yet to give him a child.

What does it feel like?

Like nothing at first.

But then when she began to stir...

it's like butterflies flapping their wings.

Later, like a rabbit...

when she kicked her legs at night.

It frightens me.

The thought of having none of that.

And of giving birth.

Most of us feel that way.

But...

when the time comes, I will be there...

to guide you through it.

Dyer must want another child.

I understand.

Birthday gifts.

A box of raisins.

That needle case you've been needing.

And a tin of sardines.

You spoil me.

Oh, you got gifts from your new friend.

She left hours ago.

I just saw her leave.

The great storm began

with a faint groaning in the northeast.

It was like a noise of a locomotive.

Help!

Come closer, girl.

It's warmer over here.

I'm sorry, I'll be going.

You should wait it out.

Come on, mare.

Dyer!

Dyer!

Dyer!

How long would it be before I receive word of Tallie?

How long could I wait?

How long will the feed in the barn last?

Each cow eats 26 pounds of forage every day.

You should know that.

They start to skinny down after three days.

Heard the newspaper predicts the storm'll let up by then.

But that's probably based on

an expert's consultation of a goose bone.

"In a real crisis of nature, we're all at another's mercy."

Yes.

My mother liked to say,

"We tumble from one mortification to another."

When I was seven, an earthquake knocked down our house and barn.

Did I tell you?

Never.

- An earthquake? - Yes.

I remember something woke me before dawn.

I don't know what.

My father was calling out.

But I couldn't tear myself away from the window.

I saw birds fluttering in the air, afraid to set down.

The river was roiling, and I couldn't move.

And then...

Finally, I jumped down to our collapsed stairwell,

as all my brothers had done before me.

And we all huddled together in the dark on the porch.

Later, my mother said

that the dread never fully went away after that.

She said, "What was safe if the solid earth could do that?"

Mother.

Tallie! You're frozen!

Tallie! Stay awake! Stay awake!

Open your eyes! Open your eyes!

Keep your eyes open!

Keep your eyes open!

Look at me.

I would die without you.

Then you're safe.

Because I am here.

Monday, March 17th.

Half the chickens are lost.

I dug ice and snow from their dead open mouths

in an attempt to revive them.

Hobnails...

For better traction.

The Widow Weldon's son, on his rounds,

reported that Tallie had gotten home safely,

with, he thought, only a bit of frostbite.

We haven't seen your friend down the lane for a while.

Finney took her to Oneonta.

So everything is tedious and lonesome?

Thursday, April 10th.

Biscuits and dried mackerel for breakfast.

Dyer has augmented the padding in the cattle pens

with his hoardings of maple leaves and old straw.

It always seems that Tallie will never appear.

But I remind myself that time and the needle wear

through the longest morning.

And I have noted that when she does arrive,

my heart is like a leaf borne over a rock

by rapidly moving water.

Hello. Oh!

Oh! Careful.

Stay. Sit, sit.

Saturday, April 12th.

- I spent the last two days... - Very damp, cloudy and cool.

Smoky.

Perhaps the forest is somewhere on fire.

Your nose is being gracious.

Monday, April 14th.

A terribly bad spring so far,

but the clover has come up through it,

and is all right.

And how's Finney?

The soul of patience.

He's mentioning again the idea of migrating west.

You're planning on moving west?

Perhaps.

I had an uncle who moved to Ohio and came to a desperate end.

Which is what one might expect from Ohio.

- Tomorrow? - Hm.

Thursday, April 17th.

Rain in torrents nearly all night.

The lane is flooded and the ditches brim full.

This morning, only a slight shower.

Tallie came later than her usual time today.

She offered no explanation.

I'm sorry that your childhood was anything less than joyous.

Joyous it was not.

But I made my own happinesses.

My husband says, "God puts heavy stones in your path,

it's up to us to step over them."

Stones are what the fortunate receive.

My mother's mother was born in 1780

right here in Schoharie County.

I often wonder at the courage

and the resourcefulness of those women.

Imagine faring forth into a wilderness,

hoping to build the foundations of a home.

Maybe they had a certain high hopefulness that we don't have.

When can you come?

Tuesday.

- Hello, Tallie! - Good day.

Was your afternoon gladsome?

Yes, it was, very.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

I felt,

looking at her expression,

as if she were in full sail on a flood tide,

while I bobbed along down backwards.

And yet,

I never say on her countenance the indifference

of fortunate towards the less fortunate.

Good day.

Good day.

Are you sick, too?

Not at all.

I was hoping to compare colds.

I'll make you tea and honey?

What?

Every morning I wake up

and I think that I never want to be far from you.

And under your influence, since you're so good with words,

I've composed a poem.

It's entitled...

"Oh, Sick and Miserable Heart, Be Still."

When I was a little girl,

I thought I could cultivate my intellect

and do something for the world.

But my life has surprised me by being far more ordinary.

You're talking about that moment

that I have dreamed about, when we're carried in triumph

for having done something wonderful or received at home

with tears and shouts of joy.

Do you know what I wonder?

Is it possible...

that such a moment hasn't yet come for either of us?

I think it has.

Or that it could.

You do.

So what do you think?

What do you think about us?

I don't know how to put it into words.

Well, try.

- I have tried. - Well, try again.

What do you imagine?

I imagine that I love

how our encircling feelings leave nothing out...

for us to want or seek.

I've presumed too much.

It's been my experience that it's not always those

who show the least who actually feel the least.

Just my dog's toenails on the wood.

Why didn't you do what you attempted to do?

I worry you'll catch my cold.

You smell like a biscuit.

I have to go home.

Astonishment and joy.

Astonishment and joy.

Astonishment and joy.

You haven't accomplished any of your responsibilities.

- Do you need assistance? - No, I don't think so.

So it's a cold plate for supper tonight?

I'll milk the cows.

Friday, May 30th.

The sunshine streaming through the branches

makes a tremendous farrago of light and shade.

We hold our friendship between us and study it,

as if it were the incomplete map of our escape.

When the day is done,

my mind turns to her,

and I think, with a special heat,

"Why are we to be separated?"

Your smile stopped. Is it meant for someone else?

Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.

We need calico and buttons and shoe thread.

Am I troubling you, sitting here with you like this?

Not at all.

I may be late coming to it,

but I've learned consideration of others.

I've learned the need for human sympathy

and the unfulfilled want of it.

I feel I've provided you with sympathy.

I suppose that's so.

The smile returns.

Good day.

Oh.

I believe that intimacy increases goodwill.

And if that's the case,

then every minute we spend together

will make us more cheerful workers.

Won't our farms benefit from that?

Won't our husbands?

All our burdens will be lightened.

When she left, I was like a skiff at sea

with neither hand nor helm to guide it.

They're cleaning out the drain under the street along the fork.

And several people are down with fever.

Holt came by to hang the bacon.

He still hasn't recovered from being beaten by two strangers.

He had to be hauled to his home in his cart.

He said the men who did it were gonna kill him,

and then realized they were mistaken as to who he was.

Lately, it seems like all you talk about

are highwaymen and house breakers.

On the contrary,

I often defer to your sensitivities.

And I haven't even told you about

all the reports in the county of men

who've poisoned and killed their wives

because I haven't found it a fitting subject for supper.

"Killed their wives," he used those words?

Mm-hm. those words.

Have you had any disagreements?

Yes, about my wifely duties.

I told him that I was opposed to it, that I was not willing.

And he accepted that?

Well, he hasn't touched me since, so...

But I made myself feel better...

by composing a poem.

Can I read you the opening stanza?

You can read me the entire poem.

No, I'll start with the opening stanza.

"I love flowering gardens.

I love creeping plants.

I love walking in the air,

but I fear swarming ants."

I don't think I can support the rhyme.

You see why I didn't read the whole thing?

I'm sorry.

I've always been contrary and maladroit.

Earlier, I... I felt that...

whenever I would draw close to you, you would retreat,

and that, if I kept still, you would return

but you'd stay at a distance, like those sparrows

that stay in the farmyard and won't come into the house.

- That's not how I feel. - How do you feel, then?

When I was in school,

the teacher had me read "Cordelia"

to an older boy's "King Lear."

Near the end of the play,

the king and his daughter are imprisoned,

but he views it in a positive way.

"Come, let's away to prison," he says.

"We two alone shall sing like birds in a cage."

Imprisoned...

In a positive way?

Well, maybe that one has to read the entire play.

It may be only in plays where people

are imprisoned in a positive way.

You don't think there's a cage that could work to our benefit?

I just...

I only know that...

I've never liked cages.

I hope you had a good afternoon in Shangri-La or Timbuktu,

wherever it is you've been.

I had a busy afternoon, yes.

I would think.

Five hours you've been gone.

I went to the drapers.

I couldn't find anything I liked.

Then I stopped by the tinker for a sack of coffee,

but he's now asking 60 cents, and I only had 50.

Then I thought I would buy you a treat of some kind,

but Mr. Arnolds reminded me

that I still owed for my last transactions so...

I was forced to close up my purse.

Tell me everything about your day.

Don't hold anything back.

You're not interested in how your wife spends her time.

I don't feel I have a wife.

I feel I have a selfish whore who...

who'd rather wander off to another man's house

than contribute any labor.

Well, Dyer was off in the fields,

and her house is on the way back home, so...

So it's just Abigail and you

tittering and gossiping away the hours?

Enjoying each other's company.

I have certain expectations, and you have certain duties.

We've talked all night and day about your expectations.

I will not stay with a woman

if it continually requires contention.

Well, then you shouldn't stay with me, should you?

Don't ask for more than you can handle.

Sunday, June 8th.

All afternoon, a hawk has been using a single cloud above us

as its own parasol.

To ward off others of its kind.

Our whole house now seems both angry and repentant.

God help us.

When three days went by without a word from her,

I stole over to her house to look on her

from what I imagined to be

a vantage point of perfect safety.

By turning the lens piece, I could draw her face nearer,

and hold it there until she turned away.

Her image provoked a sensation in me

like the violence that sends a floating branch

far out over a waterfall's precipice

before it plummets.

"For the wife does not have the authority over her own body,

but the husband does.

Do not deprive one another,

so that Satan may not tempt you

because of your lack of self-control."

Ephesians 5:33. "Submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord..."

Monday, June 9th.

Merciful father...

Turn the channel of events.

Wednesday, June 11th.

Dyer has been silent all day,

and I was happy to be left in my solitude.

Hello!

Tallie...

We haven't seen you for days.

Have you been ill?

- Nothing serious, I hope. - Ho!

She's been under the weather.

- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

We want to invite you to dinner again this Saturday next.

But it's our turn. We should be feasting you.

In the meantime, please be our guests.

We'd love to.

Six?

- Six it is. - Hup!

My mother once told me in a fury

when I was a little girl

that my father asked nothing of her

except that she work in the garden,

harvest the produce, preserve the fruit,

tend the poultry, milk the cows,

manage the household duties,

and help out in the fields when needed.

She said she appeared in his ledger

only when she purchased a dress.

Am I anywhere in there?

I'm recording spring expenses.

And how have things changed?

Daughters are married off so young

that everywhere you look a slender and unwilling girl

is being forced to stem a sea of tribulations

before she is even full-grown in height.

That's its purpose!

Come on. Come on.

Morning.

Morning, Jim.

Morning, ma'am.

I've got a new book for you.

Do you know, I'd actually like to see

that blue dress you have there.

All right, lady.

Over here!

It's two and a half.

I'll take it.

My change?

Thank you.

The Mannings' oldest daughter tipped over an oil lamp

and it set the house ablaze.

- Fire! - Ho! Ho!

- Fire! - Before she was driven

from the house by the flames,

she heard calls from her sister,

who was trapped in the upper loft.

Get her out of there.

Cassie!

Get her out!

Get her out!

Your wife is to be commended on her hospitality and cooking.

I can recall the day...

No, thank you.

...when every family was fed, clothed, shot, sheltered,

and warmed from the products a good wife

gathered within her own fence line.

I heard down by the loggers that Mrs. Mannings' oldest

got fiercely burned in the house fire.

- Cassie. - And died.

Yes, she did.

Well, as my father used to say,

"The supreme disposer of all events

does sometimes disappoint our earthly hopes."

What a marvelous hanging lamp.

Finney purchased it so that everyone could read

with equal ease around the room.

I wasn't brought up to read over much,

but I do believe a father should give his children

every chance to improve.

Children being a sore point in this household.

And yours, I'd expect.

You'll have to forgive my husband.

Even so,

whatever misfortunes arrive at my doorstep,

I seek to improve my lot with my own industry.

I...

I study my options closely,

and just attend to everything with more vehemence.

Well, then you should be commended for that.

I'll give you an example.

When I first began farming,

I was so vexed at my own inability

to stop my dogs barking

that one January, during a storm,

I held the dog around the corner of the barn in a gale

until it froze to death.

I nearly froze to death myself, at least froze my hands,

even with my heavy work gloves.

That is reprehensible.

Did I see outside that you use an old shovel plow?

Well, since you're interested in my machinery,

I have a hinged harrow that's been giving me trouble.

The spikes catch the rocks and roots, and they break off.

Well, our harrow has upright discs.

Work better?

Yeah, it seems to.

Bring the desserts.

I think we're stuffed.

My husband insists on his pastries

and preserved fruits and creams.

Well, good.

What is happening?

Are you in danger?

What happened to your neck?

No, I just took a fall over a fence.

I hadn't heard.

There are many things about which you haven't heard.

Back at the table,

Tallie kept strict custody of her eyes.

Her husband's mood seemed to have darkened.

He served the pastries and creams himself,

leaving only her plate empty.

Saturday, June 21st.

My heart a maelstrom.

My head a bedlam.

A whole week and no visit from Tallie.

No word.

My anxieties often force me to stop my work

and pace the house like an inmate.

I have to see her.

Ho, ho!

Tallie! Tallie!

What has happened?

They're gone.

And no goodbye?

We need to call the sheriff.

And report what exactly? That our neighbors moved?

It's the Zebrun farm. They were renting.

I'll go then.

For what reason?

There's blood!

And you never had an accident?

So we'll just do nothing?

I'll make the rounds of the neighbors.

And if we are not satisfied,

we can take your fears to the sheriff.

Thank you.

Monday, June 23rd.

Dyer said Mrs. Nottoway recalled spotting their caravan

on the country road in the late evening, heading northwest.

Mrs. Nottoway?

She believed she spied Tallie's figure

alongside her husband's but was unsure.

A hired hand, she thought, was driving the second wagon.

Sunday, June 29th

I spotted the sheriff on his way to church.

I conveyed my accusations, to no response.

Dyer said that no one would investigate a crime

without evidence that a crime had been committed.

Calm myself?

I refused to calm myself,

so he tied me to a chair and administered laudanum.

Monday, June 30th.

Bleary and short of breath from the laudanum...

I wake weeping,

retire weeping,

stand before my duties weeping.

Sunday, July 6th.

I am a library without books,

a sea of fear, agitation and want.

Dyer speaks of how much we have for which to be grateful.

I sit violently conscious of the ticking clock

while he weeps at what he imagines

to be his own poor, forgotten self.

Wednesday, July 9th.

Despite some hours without the laudanum,

I was so befogged and wild with grief

that Dyer left me for the afternoon,

unsettled and wary of my state.

Tuesday, July 22nd.

- Weldon? - Good day.

The renters at Zebrun's farm are gone.

Did they leave a forwarding address?

No. You've got a letter.

Hyah.

Is it from her?

It is.

- Oh. - Origin?

Onondaga County. Do you know it?

It's north of Syracuse.

Are you gonna read it?

To myself.

Abigail, Abigail, Abigail.

I'm sorry that all I have to send you is this letter,

and I'm sorry for all that a letter cannot be.

Even the best letter is just a little bit of someone.

I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye,

and I'm sorry that we seem to have traded

one sort of misery for another.

It turns out that houses deep in the backwoods

always seem to be awful and unnatural in their loneliness.

If there were only a ruined abbey

around here with bats in it, the view would be perfect.

Our roof is ramshackle and sheds water nicely in dry weather

but we have to spread milk pans around the floor when it rains.

Still, outside the kitchen,

there are already anemones and heart's-ease,

and even prettier flowers which my stupidity

keeps me from naming for you.

I believe I've enjoyed myself less these last few weeks

than any other female who ever lived.

During what little time I have to myself,

Finney reads aloud instructions for wives

from the Old Testament.

But when it comes to the Bible,

I have to say that there are a lot of passages

he may know word for word,

but which haven't touched his heart.

I can't account for his state of mind except to say

that my company must be intensely disagreeable to him.

And if that's the case,

I'm sorry for it.

Ho...

Good afternoon!

Afternoon.

Whoa.

Hey.

I've got something for you.

There you go.

Thank you.

Good day.

Hyah. Come on.

- Is it for me? - From Schoharie County.

- Your Abigail. - Give that to me.

Give it. Finney, give...

Finney!

"What's to become of the thousands of our sex

scattered out in the wilderness

and obliged to tax our strengths?

I feel as if, at that selfsame hour

when our prospects were brightest,

that in the dim distance a black shadow approached.

And yet still,

imagine the happiest of unions for us of the sort

in which two families previously at daggers drawn

are miraculously brought together on love's account.

It is your face I bear through the night.

It is to you I devote a dreaming space

before I turn myself to sleep, but there is no sleep.

It's as if within me everything clamors for air,

and I think if it's like this now,

what will it be like later?

I send you what love and support I can.

I send you all my heart's hopes. Abigail."

Please know that force alone

couldn't have gotten me here to a place like this.

I was told I had to act in support of interest,

happiness and the reputation of someone I once loved.

As far as I can figure,

we're now still only about 85 miles apart.

But of course,

people like us don't go on long visits.

Dyer refused first to permit my departure,

and then to accompany me,

and only caught up to the cart

at the end of our property and climbed aboard.

We were the very picture of anguish,

rattling along side by side.

The night was fair and warm with the appearance of a coming rain.

A shower.

It's so hard to write about

how much I want to thank you,

but I have to start somewhere.

Abigail...

I want to tell you that being with you, even alone,

has been like being a part of the biggest

and most spacious community I could ever imagine.

I feel closer to you than I would a sister since

everything amazing that I feel,

I chose to feel.

And do you know what memory it is that I most cherish?

It's of you turning to me with that smile you gave me

once you realized that you were loved.

I have no way of knowing what is to come,

but I do know that all of the trust

and care and courage we shared,

that will all shine on us

and protect us.

You are my city of joy.

You are my city of joy.

Whoa.

Might I ask your business?

We've come to see Tallie. Where is she?

I heard you on the road.

You made such a racket. I took you for the tin knocker.

We've ridden for three days.

We are not leaving without seeing her.

I'm not concerned with what you will or will not leave without.

Keep a civil tongue, friend.

Where is she?

I treated her with tea of soot

and pine-tree root to good effect,

but sickness always tests our willingness

to bow before the greatest authority.

My guess is that it was diphtheria.

No!

There is some alienation from marital...

What time is it?

I don't care.

- I have to go. - You're gonna make a mark.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Sunday, August 31st.

Weather very hot and sunny.

I cleaned out the shed

which was full of rusty and dusty rubbish,

washed the windows,

and preserved apples for the winter.

Fourteen dollars from the sale of our milk and butter.

I have cut my hand with a paring knife.

I console myself with the conviction

that someday in the future when Dyer

is forced to travel to Syracuse for feed or supplies,

I will join him,

and take his rifle and go to Skaneateles

and kill Finney where he sits.

Dyer has been at work on the barn.

Each day, we enact our separation.

Sometimes after it gets dark,

we walk over the hills across our upper fields

for the wide, wide view.

And Dyer tries to imagine us as we were,

while I try to imagine Tallie

and that cordial and accepting home

that existed solely in our dreams.

I imagine Tallie and Nellie somewhere together,

and Nellie running her brush through Tallie's hair.

I imagine banishing forever those sentiments of my own

that she chastened and refined.

I imagine resolving to do what I can for Dyer.

And I imagine continuing to write in this ledger,

here,

as though this was my life.

As though my life was not elsewhere.

I've always feared that I would bring misfortune

to those I loved.

Are you really saying nothing to that?

I don't know where to start.

I can't imagine what more we could do for one another...

with our constraints.

You can't?

I can't.

You can't?

Well, then...

It's a good thing we remember that our imaginations

can always be cultivated.

前言：旁白式的电影很容易让人错过剧情的发展脉络，写不了优美的评论，鄙人只能干点粗活，整理了一遍本片的时间线，电影节奏清晰可见，是一篇引人入胜的散文诗。（截图使用的是弯弯字幕组的版本）

1856年1月1日

电影开始的时间，地点：纽约

当年世界其他的地方处于什么状态？

英法在美俄支持下准备发动第二次YPZZ

QC正值咸丰帝在位

英国著名拉拉安妮李斯特已经走了16年

夏洛蒂勃朗特去年逝世

美国人均GDP17美元，买一本地图册需要花费2美元

此时距离爆发南北战争还有5年

距离爱迪生发明电灯还有23年

距离女性获得选举权还有64年

2月3日

周日阿盖看到塔利和她的丈夫架着马车离开，初见，像丈夫打听马车上那位红发人妇是谁？阿盖说她想要买一本地图册。

2月4日

阿盖再次表达想要买地图册，遭到拒绝。

2月X日

塔利第一次上门拜访阿盖，一聊半宿。

（原著中是1月15日）

2月14日

晚上照顾生病的戴亚时，阿盖回忆起她们下午聊天的内容。

2月X日（14日-19日之间）

似乎塔里找阿盖一起做家务已经成为日常，塔利喜欢在话题中进攻阿盖的感情生活，非要她讲出内心对婚姻的感受。

单手插袋？？？？？

2月19日

阿盖拒绝房事，因为还没有准备好再要一个孩子

2月X日

阿盖和丈夫去塔里家拜访

四人晚餐，两位男士试图主导话题，但塔盖沉浸在属于她们自己的快乐中。

2月25日

阿盖挤奶的时候一直在回想那天晚餐时塔利夫妇的表情，又发现自己因此心神不宁而烦上加烦。

下午，戴亚出去干活，塔利如约而至，给她带来了一直想要花费昂贵的地图册（拾取极其重要的道具！）得到的回报是阿盖亲自捏脚。

塔利讲述自己的婚姻生活，表达出其中的不幸福，询问对方是否要第二个孩子来打探阿盖的性生活。每一次对话都是明修栈道暗度陈仓。

暴风雪来临，如厉鬼催命，塔利和马在路上。

3月17日

塔利冻伤，数日未见阿盖，甚是想念，而阿盖被老公批评，你又对一切失去了兴趣。

4月10日，春意盎然

正在做针线活的阿盖，一抬头便从窗户里看到远处塔利和她的狗。 距离上一次见面，已经一月有余。

4月12日 阴天

好像又恢复了见面的频率，塔利说你的鼻子好可爱

4月14日 有史以来最糟糕的春天

塔利说芬尼在考虑搬去西部的事，阿盖着急的上前一步问要搬去西部？

塔利说也许吧，明天见

4月17日（数日）这一天的BGM特别好听

看夕阳

晒衣服

仿佛一对和谐美满的老夫老妻

4月22日

散步，聊童年，说好下周二见

阿盖目送塔利离开，像大海中反方向的船

4月25日

突如其来的告白，互相试探到热吻，蕴藏多日的情绪一触即发，但时间到了

塔利慌张的走出房门，差点走错方向，而阿盖张开双臂，仰躺在画面中央的姿势，是导演给我们观众继续激情的想象，也是阿盖自己的想象，荷尔蒙溢出，空气里满是湿漉漉的温度。

当她的双手用力挤奶的时候，在想什么？（再一次出现挤奶的细节）

而塔利回到家中，看着镜子里自己的身体在想什么？

4月26日 4月28日 4月29日 4月30日 5月1日 5月2日 5月14日 5月16日 5月19日

以上闪回，9天亲密的睡觉

5月30日 私奔路线

丈夫注意到了阿盖开门时脸上一闪而过的失望，只有塔利和笑容一起出现。

两人热吻，阿盖先腿软。

6月3日

闪回-亲密的睡觉

6月4日

树林里，倒挂靠在树上，奇怪的姿势，爱让人迷失。关于牢笼和自由的分歧用一个吻结束，回去亲密的睡觉（闪回）

6月5日

闪回-亲密的睡觉

6月8日 故事到这里急转直下，危险正在酝酿。

阿盖的丈夫射杀了一只黑鸟，在阿盖面前给它开膛破肚说用来警告它的同类，这很难说不是一种警告。

3天没有塔利的消息，阿盖竟然去他们家屋外用望远镜偷窥。

6月9日

瓢泼大雨，阿盖仍旧深陷道德与感情的旋涡中

6月11日

塔利和丈夫架着马车经过，阿盖追上去问几天没见，是否安好，塔利没有说话，丈夫替她回答生病了，但脸上的伤戳破了谎言的泡沫。

6月14日

四人晚餐，这一次两位男士完全掌控了餐桌上的话题，两位女士战战兢兢几乎没有交流，只有一句：还有你很多不知道的事。

6月21日

又是一次长时间的见不上面，阿盖心神不宁，坐立难安之下终于决定主动去找她，却发现人去楼空，剩下一块血手帕。

6月23日

阿盖得到消息，有人看到塔利和丈夫搬迁去了西部的方向

6月29日

阿盖向当地警长报案，无人理会

6月30日

盖，崩溃

7月6日

盖，持续崩溃

7月9日

盖，戒迷幻药

7月22日

时隔一个月，收到塔利的来信，信的开头是这样的，你好 阿盖，血色将至。

8月X日（推算的）

再收到塔利诀别一样的信件后，阿盖执意要赶去北部见塔利。

尾声

对结尾的处理，是导演一步一个伏笔埋到最后的王炸。当所有人以为塔利就这么死了，她们连活着的最后一面都没见到而抱憾终身时，突然闪回的床戏让此时下坠的氛围得到升华。

“缠绵像海里每一个无垠的浪花”

“ 像水面泡沫的短暂光亮”

“是我的一生”

8月31日 最后一篇日记

塔利死后，阿盖身体里的某一部分也随着去了，树林里塔利再一次回眸，是对观众的凌迟，也是她对爱人的恋恋不舍，此时影片把情绪推到最高处又戛然而止。

THE END